Why harmony between thinking and feeling is so vital to successful relationships

The miracle we call human life isn’t just about the individual; it also has a universal side. In our daily lives, our focus tends to be on the individual aspect, putting aside the broader context of life. The body breathes in the “universe” through the incoming air which is circulated by the heart. The mind works with the world on behalf of the individual self. We connect to the individual aspect of life through the thinking process and the universal aspect through emotion and feeling. By being impartial in our awareness of the mind and the heart, we allow their relationship to flower. When it blossoms, it becomes easy to manage all other relationships.

We connect to the individual aspect of life through the thinking process and the universal aspect through emotion and feeling.

Most of the differences amongst us exist in the mind. When we lose sight of the universality of life, we amplify the differences we harbor in the mind. This has a direct impact on all our relationships. The basis for external relationships is the integrity of the link between the heart and mind. Without harmony between thinking and feeling aspects of our being, there is bound to be conflict in any relationship.

Without harmony between thinking and feeling aspects of our being, there is bound to be conflict in any relationship.

Life is a series of interconnected relationships, in one form or another. Nothing exists in isolation. Less the differences, more significant is the chance of success in a relationship. Life is a unique blend of unity and diversity. Through the heart, we experience unity, and through the mind, we experience variety. Life need not be a choice of one over the other. Both are essential, and the secret to extracting maximum joy from life is learning how to blend the mind and the heart, the thinking and feeling aspects of our being.

Through the heart, we experience unity, and through the mind, we experience variety.

The heart is like a flowing river, and the mind and thoughts are like the rocks that lie on the river bed. By submitting to the force of the river, over time, any rough edges on those rocks become smooth. When the mind submits to the flowing energy of the heart, the gentle energy of love percolates into each thought, removing any raw negative emotions.

The individual human journey reaches its conclusion when individuality disappears into one consciousness. This is a passage from individual awareness to universal awareness. There is no space for both the mind and the heart. As we drop the ego, we transition from ‘individual thinking’ to ‘universal feeling.’ Transcending thought and feeling take us to the field of undifferentiated universal awareness.

As we drop the ego, we transition from ‘individual thinking’ to ‘universal feeling.’

Deep within us, the energy of the mind and the heart are continually emerging and dissolving into a common field of energy. We don’t perceive this, as our awareness is frozen upstream, in either thinking or feeling, or both. Awareness is like the invisible current that drives the body of water in a river towards the sea. This current of awareness is there in everyone. When we follow this current, we move towards oneness.

Through awareness, we relate to the mind and the heart. There is a fine line between awareness of the mind and heart, and falling into the trap of identification. The ego pushes us towards identification with the heart and mind. When the mind traps our awareness, it becomes severely limited and, we become like individual pebbles, distinct and separate from one another. When we consider the mind as “me,” awareness has no chance to escape to its freestanding natural state.

When awareness is in the heart or with feeling, it has more freedom, although not completely free. The heart is like a river which has a direction and a destination. It takes our awareness along. But this awareness is of “my heart,” and “my feelings,” which makes it limited.

From the standpoint of awareness, both the heart and the mind are equal. We are neither the heart nor the mind. They are both instruments, thoughts are gross, and feelings are subtle. When our awareness prefers neither the mind nor the heart, we begin to witness the functioning of both. We then see the heart and mind coming together, working hand in hand, in every aspect of our lives. Just as water flows around rocks and pebbles, the flowing energy of the heart and feelings will quietly flow around the crystallized energy of the mind and thoughts. The less we interfere, the more harmonious will be their interaction.

From the standpoint of awareness, both the heart and the mind are equal.

When our mind and heart are in harmony, we speak and act as one. Thinking complements our deep-seated feelings and vice-versa. When intelligence which underlies thinking and love which underlies feelings merge, it becomes a potent tool. As intelligence works to sharpen our mind, love simultaneously softens our being. We can turn the sharp edge of intelligence towards cutting our ego while directing the softer side of love towards the world. The sharper we are towards our ego, the softer we become towards the world. Any relationship in which there is less ego and more love is bound to succeed.